Marriage is a controversial topic because it involves two of three things you shouldn't talk about with people and expect to get anywhere, religion and politics. The other is money. We were all raised with different values and we have all experienced life differently.
I was engaged at 21 and married at 22. I am very happily married and I wouldn't want it any other way. I met my husband at a young age and we have had a relationship in some capacity for the last 10 years. We continually have to work on our relationship: how we speak to each other, the amount of time we spend with each other, expectations of one another, etc. Marriage is a lot of work and not a commitment that either one of us took lightly.
Many people my age that I know are getting married right now and maybe for the reasons this young woman listed in her post. To making a lifelong commitment to someone should not ever be referred to as "hip" or "cool". Marriage is not a fad or a trend that will go away when something else comes along. It is true that many young women are getting pregnant and may feel pressure to marry after they have made a child; a child is not a good reason to get married, especially if one of the people involved isn't ready. I think many people have unrealistic expectations about marriage, marriage takes work from both partners. Like this young woman, many people my age are selfish, entitled and live in a fantasy land*.
*See the Huffington Post blog entry http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3930620/
I don't think either one of us know exactly who we are, I don't think you ever know who you are because you are always changing and growing. I also don't feel that I have any kind "inexpierence". I am educated, open-minded, career-oriented and I have traveled, although I would not say well traveled.
My marriage is by no means a "cop-out" and I wasn't in a rush. I dated my husband for 5 years before we married and it was important for me to graduate from college and get a job before I became his Mrs. Why wait around and "party, cuddle, travel, learn and explore" with the person you want to be with as your "friend", when they can be your spouse? I do all of those things with my husband and I prefer it that way.
This young woman's immaturity and ignorance is proof that she is not ready for marriage and should continue her selfish, juvenile and otherwise strange dreams for the coming year. She should also maybe stop expressing herself to the world if she wishes to "develop alone". As millennials, we are more connected than any generation before us. Most of us have also been through a divorce once as children and don't desire the same outcome for our marriages, but our unrealistic expectations of life hurt our chances.
The most important thing I would like to address is this though. As a young married person, I do not feel in anyway that I am setting a standard for what people in their 20s should be doing. Yes I am married, educated, live in a house with a white picket fence (literally) that I own, I am happy with my career and I also dream of being finished having children by 30. This is not normal, there is no normal. Dr. Seuss said it best, "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than you" Please get married for the right reasons, to the right person, at the right time, no matter what age you are. If you want to eat an entire jar of Nutella during your single years, do that too, but do what's best for you today because there may be no tomorrow.
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